A DUDE RANCH CHRISTMAS

As you all know: roomate Christmas is just around the corner and I want everyone to know that I specifically DID NOT get any of you a pony despite a certain unnamed roommate's constant request for one (Matt).

While the shock of that initial disappointment settles in, let me say this: I have something unique and wonderful for each one of you (except Seth whose present got backordered and won't be in until Tuesday), but the most unique and wonderful thing I have for you this year is: me.

You get to have spent an entire year living with - me. Doesn't it feel nice?

So, as you unwrap your tins of cocoa, sacks of oranges, cans of brazil nuts, fruit-of-the-loom whites, fruitcake slices, and target-brand t-shirts under the tree on Sunday: enjoy them in good health, but try to remember that the point of this Christmas is: me. Its not you, and its especially not Emily Jones (even though she is our mascot).

We'll be gathering at the DUDE RANCH at 7PM to venture out to Fellini's or similar (I'm accepting suggestions from DUDE RANCH members ONLY. LESLIE - NO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO ROASTERS for dinner). Afterwards, we will be returning to the DUDE RANCH to open gifts before heading down to Meehan's for some light post-paroxysms-of-greed refreshment (and possibly a game of darts).

Also: $20 goes to the person who can successfully sneak a portion of seafood into Emily's dinner. She'll be blowing bubbles in the toilet inside of 30 minutes and it would really make my Christmas special.