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I was luxuriating in bed this morning when my phone rang. I looked down at the phone and, not recognizing the number, I stuffed it under a pillow.
Ordinarily, I tend to screen phone calls from people I KNOW for various reasons (nothing sinister) but I always (and I do mean ALWAYS) answer numbers I don’t know because; what if its publisher’s clearinghouse calling to confirm that finally, FINALLY “Jlaay Ewwing” (me) is a real finalist? Maybe it’s someone calling me with their last breath to tell me a secret destined to make me wealthy! What if it’s an ex-girlfriend calling with groundbreaking news, or a secret crush finally revealing herself?
What if its CINDY CRAWFORD AND SHE WANTS TO MEET AND DISCUSS MY BLOG AND OUR FUTURE TOGETHER?
When it’s an unknown number, ESPECIALLY an unknown area code (oh glory!) – anything can happen. If it’s Dad calling at 6:30 on a monday chances are good he has one question - “want to eat out or scrounge for leftovers?” He’s not calling to let me know that Cindy Crawford called and wants me to call her back – I’m pretty sure of that. He claims that occasionally, but let’s face it – it’s never true; so I don’t get excited about it anymore.
THIS particular morning it was my friendly banker, Jeff, calling; so I called him back. I like Jeff, generally, and we normally chat for a second but today he just said “Hey man did you write 4 checks totalling $12,000 to a guy named Bruce?”
“Yea, it was for three mules and some really awkward yoga instruction” I said.
…..“Really?” He said.
“NO OF COURSE NOT, JEFF! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!”
The long and short of it is simply this: I just gave some guy named Bruce $12,000 and it’s not even Christmas.
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2 comments:
I saw this and was so taken by the audacity of some people. I am sending a check for $1.20 to help defray the ordeal that this will cause in your life.
I am also contacting all the men named Bruce that I know to threaten them that if they were the one to perpetrate this crime, that I expect the money returned. So I am sure that you will see results in the immediate future.
MARCO?!?!?! Where are you? My days have been dull without you.. Come back..
Your loyal reader,
- a hill billy chick in California
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