Thursday, August 22, 2013

Beached

The Ewing family recently had its first official Ewing Family Beach Trip since 2005. In the ensuing period we lost a family member and added 4 for a net gain of 3 (if you count the additions from Alabama).

Nora counts, obviously, because she's nearly impossible to igNORA.  After 7 days of living with her I can say, conclusively, that someone had best GET HER DAMN PASSY.

(PASSY GET IT. PASSY GET IT. PASSY GET IT. PASSY! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!)

William III and Tripp III are pretty solid campers - with caveat to their astonishing ability to blow the bottom out of a diaper. If its not industrial strength - you're wasting your time. I've tried to envision a diaper pressure relief valve of some sort to alleviate "lateral blowout", but all I'm coming up with is a pint-sized anaerobic digester with an elaborate piping system that I can't imagine being terribly comfortable. And remember - whatever Mom eats ends up blasting through kiddie an hour later like a quart of liquid hot magma. I have slapped a bottle of hot sauce out of Tyler's hand on a number of occasions and its been worth it - every time.

After an 8yr hiatus I can report that pretty much everything has changed except, of course, "Mr. Green", my much-lauded veteran bathing suit, and Dad's magical ability to spend a week in tropical climes while getting absolutely no sun whatsoever.

It's a new era.

All the best from Tripp III et. al.