Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Overheard

Greetings from the Beach. Let me give you a brief taste of our normal June vacation week at Pawleys.

Uncle Robert (out of the blue):
Babies learn to crawl in the first minute of life. You shouldn't wrap them all up so tight right away in them what do you call 'em - "swaddling clothes." Never learn to walk right.
After all - Jesus didnt wear swaddling clothes

Uncle William:
Ah. Yes He did. The Bible says so. Read it.

Uncle Robert:
No it didn't. You're reading that Mormon thing.
That mormon thing is all about Joseph Smith. Not Jesus.
He passed Jesus in the desert and waved "heyyy!" And that was it. Everything else was all "Joseph Smith" this-and-that.
Anyway, it didn't matter with Jesus. He could go "POOF" and know how to walk.

Uncle William:
(Silence…)....

Uncle Robert:
Jesus rode a Harley.

Uncle William:
Jesus did NOT ride a Harley! You've lost your mind.

Uncle Robert:
How do you know? You don't know nothing about what he did from 12 to 33. Maybe not a Harley; but definitely something cool.
Anyway, He threw all them gamblers out of the temple when he was 18. That’s between 12 and 33.

Uncle William:
That was when he was grown.

Uncle Robert:
Oh.
Well. Babies still learn to crawl in the first minute.

Uncle William:
Most girls don't want tthat nasty dirty baby put on 'em without being cleaned up. That takes more than a minute.

Uncle Robert:
Well. Maybe it was 15 minutes. They have 15 minutes to crawl to the bosom.

Grandma:
Who said "bosom?" I heard "bosom." We don't say "bosom."

All:
Well. What about Uncle John? He's a "female doctor" you know.

Grandma:
He can say "bosom."

Uncle Robert:
Well, babies born in water know how to swim.

All:
Collective groan....

2 comments:

Kitty said...

Jims, given your latest blog on homeschooling, I was wondering if your Uncles were ever part of your "formal" education? They seem to have such confidence in their knowledge of Biology and religious studies - even when their knowledge is alarming different from what society seems to believe. Just wondering...

Anonymous said...

hilarious,
can picture it all. familieas are great. wish we could all write down the conversations that our relatives exchange for future reference.
maybe it is the salt air of Pawley's that brings out the genius in your uncles.