Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Nursing School

Lets talk briefly about nursing mothers.

I know everybody has a joke about public infant-feeding, nearly everyone has been in that uncomfortable situation, and nobody likes it.

Sure, yes, I know.

But here's the thing I think about - from the kid's perspective, what makes the miserable little midget think he has a right to 4-courses any time he feels a mite peckish? Thats pretty selfish, if you ask me. I think its just plain weird. If my mealtimes involved nudity of any sort I think I'd be a bit more discreet about it. Babies ought to get to eat when everybody else does - at mealtimes.

2:23PM in the afternoon is not an ok time, neither is 6:11PM during a wedding (for instance).

It just ain't right.

I'm going to start carrying around a ziplock bag containing a nice cut of filet in port wine sauce, some grilled asparagus, and one of those little flowers of mashed potatoes you squeeze out of a pastry tube. Whenever I see nursing going on in public I'm going to unfold some chinet, pull out my swiss army knife (with knife and fork included), plunk down right next to the offending parties and have a nice, loud, smacking, meal. That should get my point across - its called passive aggression and it works like a charm.



I'll let you know how it goes.

3 comments:

The Griggs Gallery said...

How's the wife hunt going...

Tiffany said...

There is just so much I could say about this post...but I will confine my comment to this:

I will refrain from posting about the random killing of animals (otherwise known as hunting)...

...and you refrain from posting about mothers feeding their babies (otherwise known as nursing).

DEAL???? :)

Kitty said...

Jims, you are fighting an uphill battle. I am affraid you aren't going to come out unscathed!