Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Daily Correspondence

I thought you might enjoy a brief glimpse into my daily correspondence. See below for a recent thread between me and my good friend and associate, Emily Jones, discussing a mutual friend of ours:

From: Emily Jones
Well, I'm not sure if she needs cheering up or not. I'm not sure what is happening. I'm trying to be patient and wait for her to call me back.

From: Ewing, James
Go over there and smack her with a broom handle. That'll put a smile on her face.

From: Emily Jones
You are just Mr. Helpful!

From: Ewing, James
I know.

From: Emily Jones
I don't know how i would get thru without you.

From: Ewing, James
You wouldn’t.

From: Ewing, James
I've left a box with my lawyer. If I die its going to get mailed to you the day before my funeral. Inside will be a gun and two bullets. At my funeral, right before they play "Free Bird," shoot at my coffin, holler something unintelligible, then kill yourself.

That way people will always wonder what in the hell was going on.

6 comments:

EmJ said...

And that, my friends, is why this blog is named what it is.

Kitty said...

Dear Miss Jones,
While I have never personally been introduced to you, I have a heard nothing but good things about you. Therefore I know that you will not be tempted to follow Jimmy's plan. But I feel it is necessary to inform the rest of the masses who are not keen to the wiles and twisted charms of Jimmy Ewing. Women beware: I would not put it past him to have a trick embedded in the plan. A squirt gun, fake bullets, something that would basically leave you holding, um, pardon the pun, but a "smoking gun." His final joke would be to leave you around to have to answer the "Why" for the rest of your life. Please don't fall prey to his "game"
Sincerely,
Kitty

Anonymous said...

long time fan of your reality but today with this post.. you absolutely killed me. appreciate it.

Evelyn said...

You crack me up with your posts! Always entertaining!

Tiffany said...

don't let HR see that....

Evelyn said...

Email me today...have a question for you: evelynmarie07@yahoo.com