Saturday, January 31, 2009

25 Things About YOU

Everybody seems excited about this latest “25 Things About Me” Facebook fad; no real surprise there since a basic tenet of life is that your favorite topic will always be…..you….but after reading a few of them lately I have to admit: you guys are pretty mundane.

If you want me to read 25 things about you, they better be good enough to tear me away from focusing exclusively on typing up my favorite 25 interesting things about ME. Knowing the names of your first 5 pets just makes me feel dumber: get creative, folks.

Let’s get right to the nitty-gritty. Here are the 31 things we’d REALLY like to know about you:

1. Please describe, in detail, your single greatest betrayal including (but not limited to) names, dates, and rationale.
2. List your top three favorite people to smooch with (bonus points if it’s me).
3. Who is the worst person you’ve ever smooched with. Bonus points if I know him or her, or if they’re famous. (Lets take me out of the equation on this one).
4. Of all your friends: who has the worst breath?
5. What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever done?
6. What do you feel the absolute WORST about in life?
7. Who do you secretly love?
8. I know you have a weird fantasy about something: what is it?
9. Tell me the 25 biggest secrets you’re NEVER supposed to tell anyone.
10. You have a friend who thinks you’re best friends, BUT YOURE REALLY NOT!! (HA HA!!) Who is it?
11. Somebody got hurt. You laughed. Who was it?
12. On a scale from 1-100 where is your self esteem?
13. What was the last real, soul-scorching lie you told?
14. You make fun of someone regularly. Who is it?
15. Who did you vote for?
16. What do you think about during church when you should be listening to the sermon?
17. You were madly in love with someone once and it didn’t work out, you still think about it quite alot. Who was it?
18. Your significant other doesn’t know that you ______________.
19. You’ve been publicly naked _____times.
20. The worst thing you’ve ever done was _________________.
21. You lied to ________ about __________ and you’d do it again.
22. You stole something once. You still have it and you’re not going to give it back. What is it?
23. You’re extremely proud of yourself for _______________ and you can’t WAIT for someone to bring it up again.
24. If you seriously had it to do over again you definitely wouldn’t _______________.
25. You’re way, WAY lustful. Primarily over _______________, and generally because ___________, and in church it’s _________ because ___________, and you’re probably going to keep it up.
26. You’re on __________ medication for ____________ and OH MAN you hope nobody finds out!
27. You cheated once and found out that cheaters DO sometimes win. When was it?
28. When someone swears you to secrecy it generally takes you ____________ minutes to tell someone else.
29. Your boss doesn’t know that you ____________ pretty regularly on company time.
30. You hate me right now, don’t you?
31. You firmly believe no list should ever end on a number indivisible by either “2” “3” or “5.”

There, now don’t you feel better?

2 comments:

Alison, Nathan and Will said...

That made me laugh out loud, not a polite little LOL but a made my husband look at me funny as he pulled himself momentarily away from the Superbowl. And, like @#$% am I going to answer any of those questions. If we did, no one would like anyone!

Anonymous said...

So, I recently stumbled across your blog and decided to fall in love with you immediately...well, not really, but anyone who can make me laugh through a computer screen gets brownie points. I also found this particular post and decided to humor you. Why not? I am anonymous, after all, therefore that is my only compromise: that I remain the mysterious and enthralling anonymous tell-all.

And here we go:

1. Please describe, in detail, your single greatest betrayal including (but not limited to) names, dates, and rationale.
I'm bored with this question.

2. List your top three favorite people to smooch with (bonus points if it’s me).
A Steve, an Eric, and a puppy. The latter, being the most adorable.

3. Who is the worst person you’ve ever smooched with. Bonus points if I know him or her, or if they’re famous. (Lets take me out of the equation on this one).
Jason R. By far, worst kisser in the entire world. If anyone needed training for puckering up, this guy would be the number one canidate.

4. Of all your friends: who has the worst breath?
Don’t judge me, but my mother. She’s diabetic and that plus her diet affects her halitosis…She is still my best friend foeva.

5. What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever done?
I have taken a dump on a log in the woods in my parents’ front yard.

6. What do you feel the absolute WORST about in life?
The fact that I am no where near as cool as I thought I would be when I was 7.

7. Who do you secretly love?
A Hallmark employee. She is off limits and sweet and sexy all at the same time.

8. I know you have a weird fantasy about something: what is it?
Pool table with that classic, hanging light fixture and no other lighting. Yeah…

9. Tell me the 25 biggest secrets you’re NEVER supposed to tell anyone.
Yeah, these are them.

10. You have a friend who thinks you’re best friends, BUT YOURE REALLY NOT!! (HA HA!!) Who is it?
Actually, I believe I would be everyone else’s answer to this one.

11. Somebody got hurt. You laughed. Who was it?
My boyfriend. He fell off the porch. Knocked over the grill. Burned his forehead. I laughed like hell.

12. On a scale from 1-100 where is your self esteem?
52.67%

13. What was the last real, soul-scorching lie you told?
That I quit smoking.

14. You make fun of someone regularly. Who is it?
My best friend.

15. Who did you vote for?
McCain, but I actually thought about Obama.

16. What do you think about during church when you should be listening to the sermon?
Sex.

17. You were madly in love with someone once and it didn’t work out, you still think about it quite alot. Who was it?
Adam Y. Probably wasn’t love.

18. Your significant other doesn’t know that you secretly want to move to the big city.

19. You’ve been publicly naked 1 time.

20. The worst thing you’ve ever done was use a younger boy for happiness, dump him at my house, and then go out to a bar.

21. You lied to my boss about whether I was working on that project he gave me and you’d do it again.

22. You stole something once. You still have it and you’re not going to give it back. What is it?
A shirt. I’m not much of a thief.

23. You’re extremely proud of yourself for taking 15 Jagerbombs in under 2 hours and you can’t WAIT for someone to bring it up again.

24. If you seriously had it to do over again you definitely wouldn’t take 15 Jagerbombs in under 2 hours.

25. You’re way, WAY lustful. Yes…let’s just leave it at that.

26. You’re on a fungal medication for a fungus on my foot and OH MAN you hope nobody finds out!

27. You cheated once and found out that cheaters DO sometimes win. When was it?
Every. Single. Time. Except. The most recent.

28. When someone swears you to secrecy it generally takes you 142 minutes to tell someone else.

29. Your boss doesn’t know that you eat pretty regularly on company time.

30. You hate me right now, don’t you?
Nahhh.

31. You firmly believe no list should ever end on a number indivisible by either “2” “3” or “5.”
Never really thought about it actually.