Thursday, August 22, 2013

Beached

The Ewing family recently had its first official Ewing Family Beach Trip since 2005. In the ensuing period we lost a family member and added 4 for a net gain of 3 (if you count the additions from Alabama).

Nora counts, obviously, because she's nearly impossible to igNORA.  After 7 days of living with her I can say, conclusively, that someone had best GET HER DAMN PASSY.

(PASSY GET IT. PASSY GET IT. PASSY GET IT. PASSY! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!)

William III and Tripp III are pretty solid campers - with caveat to their astonishing ability to blow the bottom out of a diaper. If its not industrial strength - you're wasting your time. I've tried to envision a diaper pressure relief valve of some sort to alleviate "lateral blowout", but all I'm coming up with is a pint-sized anaerobic digester with an elaborate piping system that I can't imagine being terribly comfortable. And remember - whatever Mom eats ends up blasting through kiddie an hour later like a quart of liquid hot magma. I have slapped a bottle of hot sauce out of Tyler's hand on a number of occasions and its been worth it - every time.

After an 8yr hiatus I can report that pretty much everything has changed except, of course, "Mr. Green", my much-lauded veteran bathing suit, and Dad's magical ability to spend a week in tropical climes while getting absolutely no sun whatsoever.

It's a new era.

All the best from Tripp III et. al.




1 comment:

Julie Keyser-Squires said...

Hilarious. The beach is a great place to raise kids. Oh, yes, the blown diaper. Now that I am a 5-month new "GrandmaMA" (Southern + French, just because), we've only seen Lily and Jim's baby, Evangeline Hope Tuttle, twice (they live in Houston), but we get regular iPhone videos, many of them with Ev filling her diaper. You can tell by the sound effects and adorable look on her face ("Something strange is happening."). By the way, have you and Tyler noticed your neighbourhood corner is now perambulator central: Tripp, and two new baby girls - two weeks old: Sophie and Abigail. Dean and Olga Powell, and Fred and Liz Powell (no relation) delivered! Tripp better watch out. Cheers, Julie Squires, your neighbour.