Monday, September 15, 2008

Grandkid Trip 2008

Some weeks ago I initiated the Official 2008 Grandkid Trip Plan with the email below:


Dear Fellow Tier 1 and Tier 2 Grandkids, assorted Aunts and Uncles, and Tier 3 cousins:

As the President and CEO of Grandkid Trip Planning, Inc. it is my great pleasure to inform you that 08 Annual Grandkid Trip planning efforts are currently underway. Due to recent economic fluctuations, the overall state of the economy, rising oil prices, and the sad fact that I entirely depleted my own personal funds early in the year; Grandkid Trip ’07, though seriously considered, never came to fruition.

Please accept my sincerest apologies for such an embarrassing dereliction of duty and allow me to affirm my solemn vow that there shall never again be a year devoid of Grandkid Trip hilarity.


Grandkid Trip ’08 will take place on the glorious Island of Anegada in either Mid-December 2008, or early January 2009 – pending further investigation. See the links below for the two hotels on the island and general information:

Neptune’s Treasure Hotel

Anegada Reef Hotel

General Info

I estimate total travel, room, and board costs should top approximately $1,000 per person as follows:

Plane Tickets $500
Ferry $100
Hotel $400
Total $1,000

Food and beverage consumption will vary based on your personal consumption habits. Before you go bananas and respond with vicious cost-conscious emails, please read the “COST DISCLAIMER” below.

I am aware that this is slightly higher than previous Grandkid Trips, but as each of you are able-bodied enough to obtain a weekend job if necessary (and have nearly 6 months to obtain the required funds) I don’t want to hear your whining. You do NOT want to be like Daniel and Shannon (boooo hisssssss) and forever regret missing The First Annual Grandkid Trip - the sadness has marked them for eternity. I also recommend each of you take a moment to address a support letter to each of your parents and follow it, weekly, with a modicum of begging and pleading for funds.

This email will be followed by an official “Evite” containing further details, cost updates, and definite trip dates as soon as possible.


Baby Jimmy

President and CEO - Grandkid Trip Planning, Inc., Representing:

Tier 1 Grandkids
Seth Slocumb
Jimmy “Baby Jimmy” Ewing
Maggie Slocumb
Ashley Slocumb
Margaret “Spike” Ewing
Beau Slocumb

Tier 2 Grandkids
Shannon Slocumb
George Ewing
Daniel Slocumb
Natalie Slocumb
Rob Slocumb
Thomas Slocumb
Austin “Squishy” Slocumb

CC: Tier 3 Cousins and Other Interested Parties
Jim “Big Jimmy” Ewing, Sr.
John T. Slocumb, MD
Sherry Slocumb
Eric Floss
Weesie Floss
Sarah Dozier
Martin Dozier
Charlotte Jimmy Ewing
Beth Ewing
William Slocumb
Paige “Bahki” Slocumb
Emily A. Jones


So, that's my email, but my favorite part is the email I received from my Uncle Robert several days later when he realized I had (inadvertently) left him off the original email. Please see below:

Pot Pot Face:

Where in the HELL is MY name ? It’s too late now, but I should have been the first one in "Tier One"! I guess my wife is cooler and more hip than I am (even though she only made "Tier Three"). May the fleas of 1000 camels infest your nasty butt!!


Uncle (maybe ex-uncle) Robert


And THAT, my friends, is why you wish you could come with us.

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