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I like to linger luxuriously in the bathroom in the morning. Its true - I've come to terms with it. There aren't that many opportunities in life to hang around mostly nekkid, so I take advantage of it. Its a little "me" time, if you will.
Actually, its usually a little "Me AND Bud" time because ordinarily by the time I get to the bathroom he's already in there (nekkd) brushing his teeth. But hey, thats ok - we have two sinks, so nobody's nekkid space gets invaded.
I woke up this morning, yawned, stretched, and gently scratched my hairy chest. I relaxed for a second while I wondered where I was. I remembered the night before, then looked at the clock; it said time to get up, so I walked across the hotel room floor into the bathroom of my suite.
When I got to the bathroom I looked in the mirror and yawned; admired my collection of freckles for a second or two then, still looking at myself in the mirror, I reached my right hand up into my doc kit and rummadged around until I found my toothpaste tube
I craned my neck back to get a better look at my tonsils while I squeezed a very large glob of paste out on my toothbrush by feel - hey, its hotel toothpaste so I can be wasteful, right?
Satisfied with the paste quantity, I leaned back, cracked two of my toes, stretched again, then started to put my toothbrust in my mouth; but I realized something - I had forgotten to wet the boothbrush. So, I leaned around and cracekd my neck while I turned the faucet on and wet my toothbrush; then I opened both eyes wide to check for eye boogers while I began brushing my teeth.
About 15 seconds into my brushing routine I realized something was wrong.
At about 18 seconds I realized something was very, very wrong.
And at 20 seconds I knew exactly what was wrong: I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.
Thats the price of vanity.
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3 comments:
Jimbo,
Tis a sad, sad day when our vanity distracts us from simple things, such as the tubes we are using. This post will be a good reminder for the rest of us to be a bit more observant of the little things and less centered on self. But for you, I have another suggestion: you could change the location of your "personal" tube so it is not as easily accessible as the toothpaste, like a pocket of the travel case or a ziplock baggie. I fear your "self inspection/appreciation" time isn't going away anytime soon.
And, as always, thanks for sharing more than we really needed to know.
You did not post my reply!
that's really gross. i am glad that you finally realized it and stopped, but i am a little surprised it took you that long to tell that it didn't quite taste minty and fresh like toothpaste! haha! hope things are going well...
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