Eavesdropping Finally Pays Off

Last week at dinner Dad told our new(est) roommate, Chalrton M. Bouchemeyer, his legendary "I-fed-my-thumb-into-my-tablesaw" story, to great critical acclaim. CB, having recently cut his thumb in an impressive manner, was so enthralled with Dad's maiming story, that he took it with him to work the next day and passed it on to a friend. Shortly thereafter he sent me the following email transmission:

Get this: I’m at work this morning and one of the guys asks me how my hurt thumb is doing. I told him it hurts worse to change the bandage than it actually did to cut it, which segued nicely into the story your dad told me about his table saw accident.

So, I’m telling him about that when all of a sudden we hear this loud THUMP from the next cube over. We both look over and this girl we work with has fallen out of her chair, head first onto the floor. Nobody knows what is going on, so we rush over and try to talk to her and help her back into her chair. I send someone for ice water and try to ask her what is wrong but she is completely out of it, slumped over on her desk and staring vacantly at the floor. This goes on for about 5 minutes - her eyes are open, she is pale and sweating and can’t speak at all. I’m thinking she is having a seizure or a stroke, but I’m trying not to let on so that the entire office doesn’t panic, but pretty soon I’m getting nervous because she is totally not there mentally. I mean - she's completely out of it.

We are on the verge of calling the ER when suddenly she starts to come around and says, “Sorry, I overheard that story. I think I fainted. What’s going on?” And just like that - she was back to normal. It was like nothing ever happened, except that now I'm all sweaty and about to pass out myself.

The long and short of it is simply this: your dad’s second-hand story almost caused third-party hospitalization.

I’m still a little freaked out about her passing out, but you gotta admit that is pretty impressive. Now I’m looking at my bandage and thinking “Maybe one day little buddy, you can be just like Jim Ewing’s thumb.”