Monday, November 23, 2009

Live Long

Tyler loves to cook "healthy", so, we're about to have a big fight about forcing normal non-vegetarian people to eat vegetarian. I can feel it coming. I know vegetarian is healthy and I don't care that its healthy.

IF I wanted to live to be 819 years old I'd eat Tylers nasty black bean soy crust veggie broccoli spaghetti squash nuggets all day long until my skin glows greenish yellow and cows start migrating through my front yard attracted to the luscious veggie scent; but I DON'T.

I want to live to be about 80, then on the night my grown-up children gang up on me and take my driver's license; I want to drive (illegally) to Slopes in my boxer shorts for a big slab of take-out ribs, watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off and The Blues Brothers for the last time while I eat, go to sleep, and keel over dead with a massive pork-induced heart attack.

But thats fine Tyler. If you want to cook vegetarian all the time - fine. I'll eat it with a smile on my face and a joyful heart. Then, each time you make me eat a vegan meal - I'm going to finish up the last crumb of asparagus-braised-imitation-veggie-crabmeat, push my chair back, and smoke a whole cigarette.

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