Friday, December 11, 2009


I noticed two headlines on today that captured my attention - one says "Americans Thought Jihad Must be Waged", and the next "Drug Tunnel Has Telephone, Elevator."


Firstly, I love Americans who want more Jihad, because they often seem to Jihad their way right into a 6' x 6' concrete enclosure where they can wage all the Jihad they can stand for 7-10 years. It's just Jihad morning, noon and night! Jihad Jihad Jihad! Congratulations to them for their dedication to planning some good Jihad. Best wishes for a happy 7-to-10.

Secondly, Anderson Cooper seems genuinely shocked to find a gigantic tunnel built underneath a false bathroom in a warehouse that extends from Tijuana Mexico to the US.

I, however, am not.


Because if I had a tunnel - I would definitely put it in a bathroom. In fact, if I had a bathroom big enough, I might just build me a tunnel right now. I've always wanted a tunnel that went somewhere, I've just never had two places to connect. So, on behalf of me: congratulations to the enterprising Mexican drug cartel for their clever artwork in crayon entitled "connecting two places with a tunnel" and congratulations to Anderson Cooper for noticing.

Anderson didn't stop there though, he went on to describe the construction, conditions, and estimated timeframe for completion of the great big tunnel o' drugs. It was apparently three years underway and very near to completion when the US anti-drug-catcher-people put the hammer down. That leads me to believe somebody on the anti-drug-catcher-people team knew the construction was going on, and let them keep at it for a few years. Genius, really. Its like giving your toddler building blocks - as long as he's busy tinkering with something he can't get in too much trouble. They should let ALL the bad drug people start tunnels.

Sweet Anderson also indicated that 13 people were apprehended and arrested in the tunnel.

Oh man.

In order for 13 people to be apprehended in a tunnel - somebody has to do the apprehending.

Lucky you.

There are plenty of things in life I just don't understand, but let me just tell you "Lieutenant, get down in this hole and arrest whatever Mexican construction workers you find" would be the last orders I took from my Police Chief; I know that much for sure.

Unless its MY tunnel, of course.

No comments: