Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Rare and Legendary Kiss-Me-Not

(from earlier in the year)


Lets hear it for pleasant surprises!

It turns out this "training facility" is actually one of the top rated golf course resorts in the US.

Apparently the spa is top-notch as well.

Am I a "heated-stone-shiatsu-massage" kind of guy or an "herbal-mudwrap-defoliating-seaweed-body-massage" kind of guy? These are the important questions I find myself pondering today. Have no fear - I am going to transition into some harder emotional problems later in the week. My plan is to attack the deep-seated childhood issues on Thursday like, "Do I prefer to tee off before breakfast or after dinner?" and "Is 6th street in Austin really the best live music scene in the lower 48?"

Stay tuned for my thoughts on "Chocolate-triple-extra-truffle cake vs. Double-overhead-negative-white-chocolate-explosion-torte." I get emotional just thinking about it.

So far the only major negative is that our team facilitator lady bears a frightening resemblance to Danny Devito which I find oddly unsettling.

Also, my all-male training team just lost scattegories because we couldn't name a flower that starts with a "K." (Hey, I'm a guy. I know "rose" and "honeysuckle" and I think you take somebody camelias when they die. Or is that chrisanthemums? And can they be red? I don't know). Anyway, one of the other teams said "Kiss-me-nots" as a flower type and got a point from our bonehead teacher; costing my team the squishy logo ball and a $5 gift certificate to Starbucks. Now, I'm no botanist, but that CAN'T be right. To whom might one give a "kiss-me-not?" They must be the least profitable flora in the universe.

Now that I think about it - they're not such a bad idea. A "Kiss-me-not": the perfect breakup flower. "Heyyyy!!! What a lovely bouquet of…WAIT ARE THOSE KISS-ME-NOTS??? MONTY YOU WOULDN’T!!!"

"That’s right Bertha. We're through."

Kiss me not.



Anonymous said...

A BLOG Jimmy? Why don't you just join myspace? =)


AllisonGail said...

Okay, so I have read from the top to this blog so far and wow, I can't stop laughing. Now I know where to go on sad days!

AllisonGail said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
AllisonGail said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
AllisonGail said...

Pardon the earlier triple posting...not sure what happened. So anyway, I think that logo ball and $5 gift card is rightfully yours. I have never heard of a Kiss-me-not. I googled it and didn't find it! Demand a recall!