Monday, March 13, 2006

Spandex


So, Mom and Margaret love to ride their bicycles down the Silver Comet Trail. Apparently its relaxing.

I have to admit strapping myself to a metal frame and hurtling down a long concrete ribbon at 20mph sounds about as fun to me as an accidental branding, but hey - whatever.

The point is: they love it.

I guess I can't blame them. It’s a legitimate opportunity to wear spandex in public and not get laughed at, so I'm all for it. I think spandex is the funniest manufactured material in the history of the world. Spandex - a garment that instantly clings to every crevice on your body. Who in the world thought that was a great idea?

"Hey, look at this - if I stretch it 'real tight over my buns you can see the little dimples right through the material!! We'll make millions!"

If I'd have been standing there - all my business partner would have gotten is a stinging smack to the back of the head and a chuckle...And we'd both still be broke. Chalk one up to visionary intellect I guess.

Anyway, the real point is this:

On Tuesday while riding her bike down the trail, Margaret (in spandex) ran over a squirrel….and KILLED IT with her bike. THATHUMP. SQUEEK! She maintains that the squirrel "ran into her bike." I think you all know the truth.

Now THAT is one unlucky squirrel. To be killed by the least dangerous human conveyance in the history of the world has to be some sort of bad squirrel karma. I say he deserved it. Sort of makes all that ridiculous nut storing they do seem sort of pointless, doesn't it? I mean, if you're just going to go out and get killed by a 100lb girl on a Schwinn you definitely don't need to be filling up a hollow tree with acorns.

Anyway, that’s just my thought on it.

Beware anything thats in Spandex and wearing a helmet.


JGE

3 comments:

TYRUS said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

Time for some new thoughts to make their way here...we are waiting in anticipation...

AllisonGail said...

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!