I Prefer My Cialis Chilled

I hate to get stuck on one topic for too long, so I want all 9 of you reading this to know that, after this post, the topic of "ice cream" is officially exhausted. Seriously, I'm allergic to dairy products anyway, so milky stuff in general isn't really that interesting to me.

I want to move on, but first I want to highlight an important family relationship with dairy products that I would like for you to be aware of. According to the always lovely Maggie M. Slocumb; her Dad (my Uncle Buster) comes home every night, sits in front of the tv and hollers "JEANNE...WHERE'S MY ICE CREAM??" over and over until my Aunt Jeanne huffs over to the freezer and brings it to him.

Eccentric? Sure. A bit. But, it gets better.

In order to keep him happy Jeanne puts not 3, not 10 but exactly 9 M&M's in a bowl atop two scoops of ice cream. Why? Because that is exactly how Buster requires it. 9 M&Ms. Seriously. Don't bring him 10 M&Ms -he only wants 9.

Then, about 7 times out of 10, Aunt Jeanne will carry the ice cream into the den and Buster will look up and say "put it in the freezer."

Upon hearing about this little ritual I asked Buster to explain the importance of it, and the general process he had to go through to successfully imprint that kind of training on another person. He didn't really explain anything, he just walled an eye in my general direction and said: "I can't prove it but I think she pops open the caplets and sprinkles Cialis all over my ice cream on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

They are still married which just goes to show you the critical importance of a lifelong dedication to spousal training.

I haven't been able to make sense of it all, but even though I don't recall suffering any unusual effects from eating ice cream at their house (other than the usual allergic itchiness, sleeplessness, fixation on explosives, slight stuffy nose, and narcissistic rage), I've stayed out of their freezer ever since.

I'm not sure what kind of impact I'd have on the world after a bowlfull of Cialis, but I know it would most likely involve a local news team and my underwear - and that's never a good combination.