Thursday, February 23, 2006

Important Warning


It has begun.

I'd like everyone to carefully note that Deer Season typically begins Saturday the 3rd weekend in October and runs until January 1 in the Northern half of the state. It extends into mid-January in the Southern half of the state. Many of you are unfamiliar with the crucial importance of these dates, so please take the time to familiarize yourself with them. Please also note that the Latin name of the Whitetail Deer is Odecoilus Virginianus, the Cherokee name of my favorite rifle is Blasteronimo, and as you've always feared: there IS a monster under your bed, but its a very small one.

To celebrate the upcoming season: I just built myself a hunting stuff closet. Thats right, a closet devoted entirely to hunting stuff. It smells strangely reminiscent of acorns and deer stinkum. I really like it.

Now, I know many of you like to watch The Foosball on Saturdays during the fall. The Foosball isn't really that interesting, especially when UGA almost loses to Arkansas in what was supposed to be a blowout. Who needs that? That guy breaking his leg during the game the other day was sort of neat, but I mean really - how often do you see that? Mostly its just up-and-down-the-field, cut to cheerleaders, yea!, whoops there goes the ball, look out, whammo, ouch!, and kick. Afterwards you've spent all day at a sporting event and didn't get a single chigger bite, tick, or mosquito. Never once did you fall off anything high while sleeping, cut your finger, fall in a creek, drop your $2,000 rifle barrel-first into the dirt, spray animal gland secretions all over you, put a deer in the back of your mom's minivan, back over your rifle with your truck tire, or get lost in a thicket.

My recommendation is this: turn The Foosball off, buy a gun, and lets shoot some stuff.


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