Friday, February 24, 2006

Malaria Vs.

I think I am specifically not going to attempt any heavy dating topics in this little blog. Not because I'm immature, not because I lack the depth to understand why I act the way I do, not because I am hardheaded. Not because I am bitter, or confused, or angry with women. I am none of these things (except hardheaded).

Because its boring.

My new years' resolution is to quit dating and start smoking. Every time I feel like going on a date I'm going to light a cigarette, take $100 out of my wallet, and put it in the bank. In two years I'm going to take all that money out and go hunt lions in Africa with a bow in a malarial swamp.

It will be much safer than dating.

Heres a fun game. I call it "Malaria vs." You decide which you'd choose given the scenario "Malaria vs." Here is an example and my personal responses:

Malaria vs. accidental pregnancy? Malaria. I'm afraid of babies.

Malaria vs. crying at the dinner table? Malaria. I don't carry a hanky.

Malaria vs. $300 shoes? Malaria for obvious reasons.

Malaria vs. public displays of affection? Double Malaria.

Go on, draft your own answers and give it a try. Stay tuned for my newest game "Beartrap vs."



TYRUS said...

I have a been playing "Malaria vs. ______", all day long!

Melissa Merkel said...

So, how has the venture into getting tar-filled lungs and growing your lion hunting nest egg been going?