Friday, March 05, 2010

Insanity Reigns

Sometimes things in the world get so bad that even the most sheltered of us are forced into a head-on collision with reality. One would think my steadfast refusal to watch the news or read the paper would protect me from the evil, polluting, influence of the outside world; but it doesn’t.

You can’t even get through the Bible without crossing paths with some pretty heady stuff. I flipped through Romans the other day, minding my own business and thinking nothing but good thoughts; and what did I see? “Orgies.”

Seriously. I’ve never even been invited to one of those and here the Bible is bringing it up!

I guess there’s no escaping the realities of a fallen world.

Somehow, the insidious evils of this mortal coil continue to pursue even I – not even the protective wall of tackle boxes, soft plastic worms, crankbaits, and other bass lures I’ve carefully built up around my tv-room chair has been able to buffer me from the stream of bad news pouring out of our television.

This morning Chalrton M. Bouchemeyer, evildoer, sent me the following link - - and something pure inside me died.

How long before the annual Squirrel Hunting Championship of the World Invitational Tournament becomes a gritty struggle for existence? What is next? “Dolphin Eats Fisherman?” “Flock of Bluebirds Carry off School Bus – Children Maimed?”

“Anderson Cooper Accused In Betty White Disappearance??!?!”

How many more indignities must we suffer before the rapture finally comes?

I’d like to direct your attention to a small, seemingly-innocuous sentence in the article - overshadowed somewhat by the headline, but chilling, nonetheless:

“Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorized cats in a part of the territory."


To me that means some number of chipmunks intentionally and prolongedly terrified and insulted a cat, or many cats; with no higher purpose than the sheer, liberating, freedom that must follow from a pack of chipmunks asserting themselves.

Somebody help me.

I can tell you 100% for sure that if I ever turn a corner and spy a pack of teenage chipmunks terrorizing anything; there’s going to be a me-shaped hole in anything solid between there and my Grandma’s house; because Grandma’s is the only safe place I know of when insanity reigns.

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