Monday, March 08, 2010

A Second-Best Kind of Day

Apparently the second best day of my life happened this past Tuesday. I thought it was pretty nearly one of the tip-top very best A-#1 days, but according to those of you bent on ruining my life and stealing my joy - it was only second best, to be followed by a long period of misery, and finally the very best day of my life which culminates only due to my impending financial ruination.

Wwaaahhh wahhh waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, thank you for coming to the party Mr. and Mrs. Downer and all your Downer family progeny.

Tuesday, I bought a boat. A big, fast, bad-to-the-bone redfish and bass fishing boat that I'm positively terrified of, and don't really know how to use.

Was that an intelligent financial decision based on my career as a CPA, and everything I know about the economy, myself, and my plans for the future?

Of course not.

Was that a decision based on my understanding that moth and rust destroy? That the things of this earth will perish and that one day, I too shall return to the dust?

No, but thanks for bringing it back to Biblical.

Was this an investment in my future? My future progeny, or things of an eternal nature?


This was an investment in going real' fast because: I want to go real' fast.

This collection of nuts, bolts, oil, and various spinning-things under pressure will, presumably, help me achieve the goal of mind-blowing, gravity-defying, intense, terrifying, not-at-all-safe, fastness; and THAT is why I wrote the check.

Perhaps Fred B. Hand, IV; said it best as he looked at me this weekend and said "Jimmy, this boat needs to go real' fast. When we're done fishing, let me help it go real' fast."

45 minutes later; Fred hunched behind the wheel of my new boat, face set in a grim picture of hell-bent determination but, as we rocketed past his grandfather's house at 70mph with my terrified screams filling the air, I still found my speed-numbed brain pulsing out one lone thought: "THIS IS AWESOME."

So, to all you non-boat-owners who immediately chuckle and begin spouting your pithy anecdotal references to boat ownership, cost, and stupidity let me say this: I have kept careful track of your derisive comments and I will wave to you at the dock...

As soon as I get my boat out of the shop.

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