Wednesday, July 14, 2010

AAA Meetings

I've felt generally non-funny lately.

I think I'm in a slump.

I need some good material, but all I can think to tell you is that I managed to incorrectly install a wheel on the hub of my boat trailer a few weeks ago.

You would think it would take alot of effort to get "match these two round objects" wrong. It didn't though. Putting it on wrong was super easy. All you have to do is grab a socket wrench, focus on being a complete idiot and, voila! you're all set.

The problem was brought to my attention mid-way through a hairpin turn above Lake Blue Ridge by a snaggle-toothed gentleman who slowed me to a crawl and drawled "Hey there buddy. You got you a wheel thats done nearbout come off'n the trailer" before tossing his flowing mullet behind him and passing me on the curve.

I stopped in the middle of the road, walked around the truck, and, sure enough - the wheel done nearbout come off'n the trailer. More specifically - it was hanging on for dear life by the barest of lugnut connections and no amount of effort on Tyler's part could get them off. I finally told her to knock off with the tire iron and we just called AAA for a tow.

Tyler and I spent the next hour-and-a-half throwing rocks at a road sign and making various wild, unfounded claims to each other concerning our pitching arms before AAA was kind enough to come by and tell us the trailer was too big to tow.

Clearly someone at AAA has studied psychology; because I do prefer to get very bad news in person and from a complete stranger.

Fortunately, "Billy" was kind enough to follow me down the mountain with wobbling trailer in tow and we managed to find our way to a repair shop.

When I finally got my boat back I asked the mechanic how the repair went and he said "Buddy, it was the worst looking thing I ever had to fix and it nearly killed me getting those lug nuts off." I felt terrible because obviously the stress of the repair had made all his side, top, and rear teeth fall out. To me, that's hardly a worthwhile exchange for a wheel repair, but he cheerfully gummed his four front lower teeth a bit and said "sure was glad to get 'er done."

Sudeenly, I felt a renewed sense of purpose in life. If there weren't people like me around - there'd be nobody to help make sure things stay broken!

Then where would we be?

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