Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The Impending Collision

Last year (on yet another blind date) my willing accomplice mentioned that she had recently invested in a new pair of Seven Jeans (they are, after all, for all mankind). Naturally, I inquired into what sort of return she anticipated on that investment.

She was not amused.

Typically, a good rule of thumb is to gauge the response to a joke, then respond in kind. Instead I laughed quite a lot, and for entirely too long.

My polls took a nosedive.

In a last-ditch attempt to take back the night; I ingeniously followed up the above obvious social gaffe with the rare and legendary impending collision scare on the way home. You know: that’s where your unwitting passenger is absentmindedly taking in the scenery and you (you mischevious little devil) lock up the brakes while simultaneously screaming bloody native heathenism at the top of your lungs.

Friends, you cannot begin to imagine the breadth of response that comes from that clever little conversation starter....In this case we had a very nice conversation about the wisdom of "frightening people who had recently been in major vehicle collisions."

Ohhhhh waiter! Check please?


1 comment:

Tiffany said...


Long time....

I am enjoying your posts...you are hysterical. I think I remember that from another lifetime ago....keep the hilarity comin. No pressure. :)

You and your family are in my prayers.