Strangers With Candy

In response to my email indicating that my day consists of: showering, going to work, and going home; my Beyoncee had this to say:

Hhrhrhrr. At least you showered, but I'm surprised you parted with your hard-earned musty smell.

I wish you were sitting with me on the plane right now instead of the man with the world's smallest bladder who has asked to be let out way too many times. I feel like I'm pet-sitting. Somewhere over Texas I decided that if he asked again, I was fully prepared to say "no."

But then he gave me gum.

Clearly, my future wife is highly susceptible to even the simplest forms of bribery; a tool I should have brought to bear in what has come to be known as "The Great August Gift Card Dispute."

Fool me once? Shame on you.
Fool me twice? Shame on me.

Fool me over and over again forever? Marriage.